; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
