Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
