So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
