I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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