I want to make a zoo with you.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
