he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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