You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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