yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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