Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
