this boner is exhausting
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
