I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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