You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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