dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
