worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
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We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
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Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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