you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
