I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
