Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
