Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
