Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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