And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
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