she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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