I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
the raccoons are back...
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