worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dear god my vagina.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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