butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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