he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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