Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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