i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
