farters have to be the big spoon...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
