We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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