haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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