Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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