how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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