Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I need to sanitize my soul.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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