Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
