He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
