I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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