There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
