i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
