Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
