i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
