And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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