My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"