Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords

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  (734): she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords http://tfl.nu/o43m
  Replies (2) Good night (1415) Bad night (630)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!

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  (210): ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math! http://tfl.nu/zdim
  Replies (11) Good night (1456) Bad night (578)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.

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  (734): Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic. http://tfl.nu/9ab0
  Replies (15) Good night (1130) Bad night (2303)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.

  (206): View more from Washington

  High?

  (425): View more from Washington

  hahahahaha turkey breast

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  (425): ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector. (206): High? (425): hahahahaha turkey breast http://tfl.nu/8hm7
  Replies (41) Good night (3720) Bad night (708)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

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  (815 ): His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship. http://tfl.nu/efr0
  Replies (30) Good night (5863) Bad night (698)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"

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  (717): I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal" http://tfl.nu/9g1t
  Replies (25) Good night (5992) Bad night (606)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  how does Santa get into Hogwarts?

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  (574): how does Santa get into Hogwarts? http://tfl.nu/z515
  Replies (48) Good night (6035) Bad night (1007)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.

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  (330): I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now. http://tfl.nu/yqbr
  Replies (10) Good night (3579) Bad night (1440)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.

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  (401): She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal. http://tfl.nu/0f54
  Replies (10) Good night (1118) Bad night (3002)
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  (925): View more from California

  He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.

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  (925): He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle. http://tfl.nu/x2qg
  Replies (11) Good night (1637) Bad night (2108)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.

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  (902): The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes. http://tfl.nu/ae5m
  Replies (3) Good night (2146) Bad night (824)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.

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  (313): At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday. http://tfl.nu/fpxj
  Replies (4) Good night (1448) Bad night (491)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'

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  (410): I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like' http://tfl.nu/uuvy
  Replies (5) Good night (499) Bad night (521)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std

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  (516): Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM (973): I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std http://tfl.nu/e0ex
  Replies (2) Good night (442) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  How high are you exactly

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  (443): Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis (828): How high are you exactly http://tfl.nu/wb80
  Replies (2) Good night (713) Bad night (235)

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