Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.

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  (203): We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved. http://tfl.nu/1hyb
  Replies (31) Good night (5979) Bad night (996)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.

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  (256): Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program. http://tfl.nu/l90z
  Replies (12) Good night (3483) Bad night (1008)
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  (707): View more from California

  I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA

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  (707): I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA http://tfl.nu/ppt3
  Replies (24) Good night (3179) Bad night (1468)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.

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  (978): Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child. http://tfl.nu/fq2v
  Replies (7) Good night (1134) Bad night (1790)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Don't answer that. It is bad.

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  (226): Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice? (226): Don't answer that. It is bad. http://tfl.nu/e65p
  Replies (5) Good night (1291) Bad night (850)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  We need more drag queens in our life I've decided

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  (781): We need more drag queens in our life I've decided http://tfl.nu/77cl
  Replies (3) Good night (1151) Bad night (613)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.

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  (502): Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol. http://tfl.nu/h6cv
  Replies (5) Good night (666) Bad night (556)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN

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  (615): DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN http://tfl.nu/6g6b
  Replies (1) Good night (680) Bad night (602)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.

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  (479): PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies. http://tfl.nu/q44j
  Replies (3) Good night (790) Bad night (343)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.

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  (708): I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/vs89
  Replies (2) Good night (614) Bad night (357)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together

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  (860): I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together http://tfl.nu/ghj0
  Replies (7) Good night (697) Bad night (373)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..

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  (573): I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding.. http://tfl.nu/ukti
  Replies (5) Good night (474) Bad night (1108)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."

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  (616): She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20." http://tfl.nu/9pz5
  Replies (4) Good night (379) Bad night (608)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.

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  (443): So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room. http://tfl.nu/u3av
  Replies (4) Good night (686) Bad night (211)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes

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  (647): my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes http://tfl.nu/v9rt
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (241)

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