hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.