the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...