the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
