My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I think my moral compass just broke
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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