cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
