I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize