I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
