ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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