This house was built for laser tag.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
