beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
