you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
