Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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