I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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