My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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