shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
