it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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