You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
