I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
