its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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