hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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